Ulquiorra Turns Into a Child
by HaloBramblestar
Summary: Ulquiorra has turned into a kid. He seems ok at first but Ulquiorra is more mischievous then anyone could have guessed.
1. Chapter 1

**Ulquiorra Turns Into a Child**

Usiro: This is my first fanfic so... ya... If it sucks at least I have an excuse

Dask: If you say it sucks I'LL GLADLY KILL YOU!

Usiro: Your not suppose to threaten them...

Dask: Fine... But if anyone says anything *pulls out a bazooka* I'LL BLOW YOUR HEAD OFF!

Usiro: Were did you even find that...

Usiro: I do not own Bleach

Dask: *lifts bazooka* I can change that

Usiro: Please don't...

Dask: Fine...

Usiro: Anyway... I do not own Bleach and *glares at Dask* and probably never will

Dask: Just start writing already

Usiro: Fine...*stares blankly at blank document for about an hour* Oh ya! There is cursing in this so it is rated T

Dask: *holds up knife* Write.

Usiro: *starts writing*

**Chapter 1: Ulquiorra?**

Nnoitra walked up to Ulquiorra's room grumbling. Aizen had called a meeting and the Cuatro Espada hadn't shown up. Aizen had asked him of all the Espada to go get Ulquiorra. Nnoitra angrily ripped open the fourth's door. He didn't see Ulquiorra. Nnoitra pulled off the covers to Ulquiorra's bed. A bright green cero was shot straight at him. Nnoitra quickly tried to deflect most of it and to his surprise he stopped it completely. He looked down at Ulquiorra. Nnoitra was shocked at what he saw. A kid probably about 2 years old sat on the bed glaring at Nnoitra. The kid had Ulquiorra's chalk white skin, his bright green eyes, hollow helmet, messy black hair, and green tear marks. This kid was defiantly Ulquiorra but he just couldn't believe it. The mini Ulquiorra stared up at him and blinked. Nnoitra panicked. What was he going to tell Aizen-sama. Nnoitra sighed and pick Ulquiorra up. The kid fidgeted and thrashed trying to get free.

"Stop struggling brat!" Nnoitra yelled at the kid. Ulquiorra glared at him as his finger glowed as he prepared another cero. Nnoitra tried to block it but wasn't completely successful. Now that the brat was fully awake his cero had more power behind it and sent Nnoitra flying across the room. Nnoitra was caught a bit off guard. He expected the cero to have the same power as the first. Nnoitra picked himself up and went over to strangle the kid.

That's when he noticed Ulquiorra was gone.

"That stupid little bitch" cursed Nnoitra as he went off to search for the little Emospada.

Ulquiorra wandered through the halls of Las Notches. He had awoken to some weird tall guy trying to grab him and shouting at him.

Ulquiorra looked around. He was completely lost. All the halls looked the same. He heard yelling in the distance and decided it was that weird guy and ignored it.

After wandering the halls for what seemed like forever he sat down exhausted. Ulquiorra was tired from all that walking and curled up at a dead-end and fell asleep.

"Found you, you little bitch" a voice yelled and woke up Ulquiorra. He was roughly picked up. Ulquiorra glared at the person who picked him up. It was the weird tall guy. The guy quickly grabbed his hands before Ulquiorra could react. The guy glared at Ulquiorra. Ulquiorra glared back. The guy started walking somewhere but their glares never broke. Eventually they reached a set of large doors. As they entered they were greeted by silence. There was a table with people sitting around it and a throne with a guy sitting on it.

"Did you find him" asked the man sitting on the throne. He had brown hair and a calm gaze.

"Ulquiorra has somehow turned into a brat" replied the tall man. As a response Ulquiorra punched him in the face causing him to drop him. Ulquiorra glared at him then turned to the other guy.

"Who are you?" Asked the little Ulquiorra. The man smiled.

"My dear Espada" said the man "I am Aizen. Your dad." Replied the man. Ulquiorra looked up at him then ran over to him. Ulquiorra quickly climbed up to sit in his father's lap.

"Who are they daddy?" Asked Ulquiorra curiously pointing to the Espada then he looked up to his dad expectantly.

"They are your brothers and sister." His father replied coolly. Ulquiorra nodded. Then His dad started naming them. "That one is Starrk, that one is Barragan, he's your grandfather, that is Hannibal, that one is Nnoitra," Ulquiorra glared at Nnoitra. Then turned to his dad.

"I don't like Nnoitra" Ulquiorra said flatly.

"Why is that?" His dad asked

"He's mean" His father lifted an eyebrow "He grabbed me and started yelling at me" explained Ulquiorra.

Aizen nodded then replied "I will speak to him later" Ulquiorra nodded. Aizen continued pointing out his other brothers. "That is Grimmjow, that is Zommari, that is Syzel," Ulquiorra laughed as he looked at Syzel. "Ulquiorra what's so funny?" Ulquiorra had a smile on his face.

"His hair is pink" whispered Ulquiorra in his daddy's ear then went back to laughing. Aizen smiled at Ulquiorra.

"Yes Syzel's hair is pink" said Aizen looking at Ulquiorra who stopped laughing. Aizen finished pointing out the others. "That is Aaroniero, and that is Yammy" Aizen finished.

Ulquiorra snuggled up to Aizen gripping his shirt yawning before falling asleep.

Aizen looked at the sleeping Ulquiorra. "Syzel find out how Ulquiorra ended up like this and find a cure. Also Ulquiorra will need someone to watch him sense I am too busy." Aizen scanned his Espada. "Any volunteers?" The Espadas' response was silence. Not one of them moved as they held their breath.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Usiro: Who will have to watch little Ulqui-chan?

Dask: *pulls out sword* REVIEW AND VOTE OR DIE!

Usiro: Great...now that you've threatened them they're sure not to review or vote.

Dask: You could go to plan b...or plan d *eyes spark* I vote plan d

Usiro: No plan d: blow up the world wouldn't work, and asking a friend who knows NOTHING about Bleach telling her the names then asking for her to choose one isn't that effective either. It's kind of a last resort. *sigh*

Dask: Wanna cookie?

Usiro: COOKIE! *eats cookie in one bite*


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Usiro: I KILLED SOMEONE! D:=

Dask: ...What?

Usiro: sweetoreo33 said they died of cuteness, and XxLadyKikixX said their mind died D=

Dask: *face palm* They didn't literally die

Usiro: Really? Phew... Are you sure?

Dask: *smiling*

Usiro: ?

Dask: *pulls out scimitar*

Usiro: OH SHIT! WHO GAVE HIM THAT!

Dask: *smiling evilly* Play Time!

Usiro: TAKE THE EVIL WEAPON AWAY!

Dask: yowai mikomi-chan, Gianna Sparrow, Ninfia-Fan, Phoenix-Warrior93, squalo king, sweetoreo33, DarkraiFanGirl, XxLadyKikixX and especially Phoenix-Warrior93-

Usiro: You said Phoenix-Warrior93 twice

Dask: WAS I DONE FUCKING TALKING!

Usiro: I'm sorry! Don't hurt me!

Dask: Ok as I was saying, you all get... *whispers* what do they get again?

Usiro: How about A MUFFIN!

Dask: No way cookies.

Usiro: Why cookies?

Dask: Cause cookies are for evil people.

Usiro: ...

Chapter 2: Nnoitra

"No one?" Aizen asked his Espada. He expected this response though. The only person who would ever want to watch kids in their lifetime here would be Gin. Aizen thought of who to pick.

"Nnoitra." Aizen decided

"WHAT?! Why do I have to watch the Emo brat?" Nnoitra demanded.

Aizen sighed. Until Ulquiorra was back to normal he would secretly miss his Cuatro's unquestionable loyalty.

"Because I said so. Shall we continue?" Aizen more of stated than asked. He noticed Grimmjow was smirking at Nnoitra's unfortunate luck.

"Tomorrow Grimmjow will watch Ulquiorra." Aizen added and he saw Grimmjow's jaw drop.

"WHAT THE FUCK? WHY!" He yelled.

"You are going to because that is what I said." Man, Aizen was already missing Ulquiorra's support. If he weren't the victim in this Aizen would just have Ulquiorra watch the young child. He would do it without complaint.

But out of all his Espada it just HAD to be Ulquiorra who was turned into the kid. But at least Aizen wouldn't have to worry about some problems the others would have. Aizen almost shuddered at what could have happened if Grimmjow, Syzel, or Nnoitra had been changed. Syzel would blow up Las Notches- no he would blow up the entire Hecto Mundo. Nnoitra would try to kill everyone within sight. Grimmjow would definitely destroy Las Notches. No question about it. The only thing that made Aizen the least bit worried was that no one really knew what went on in the Cuatro's head. What if... Ulquiorra turned out worse than anyone? What was he truly capable of?

After the meeting...

Nnoitra went over to Aizen to grab the still sleeping brat. The movement woke up Ulquiorra. He looked at Nnoitra. Then at Aizen. "Do I have to go with the spoon?" He asked Aizen.

THAT'S IT! Nnoitra was gonna kill that brat! Yet again why did everyone always call him a spoon? He thought his hood was pretty cool. But even a two-year-old had insulted his hood...

"Yes, Ulquiorra. Today you will be with Spoon-san and tomorrow you will be with Grimmjow" ...Had Aizen really just referred to him as Spoon-san? Please don't let Ulquiorra call him that. Please don't let Ulquiorra call him that. Nnoitra silently begged.

"Ok..." Ulquiorra said. Nnoitra carried him out of the meeting room.

"What are we gonna do Spoon-san?" He asked as soon as they left the room. Why him? Did he do some great evil that cursed him to watch the kid for 24 hours? Oh well he could just pass the kid on to Tesra then be free from the Emo bat brat.

Then an Arracar came by. "Nnoitra-sama, Aizen-sama has commanded that you must watch Ulquiorra-sama and if Aizen-sama catches you making Tesra do it by himself then he is punishing you severely." She informed him. Great he was stuck with the brat all day.

Nnoitra brought Ulquiorra to his room and shut the door. What was he even suppose to do with the kid? That's when Nnoitra got the best plan ever. What better time to insult Ulquiorra then now? He laughed to himself. He wondered what to do first. He gave Ulquiorra a knife. "Here you go emo." He said grinning widely. Ulquiorra glared at him then grabbed the knife and... Threw it at him. He barely managed to move and got his arm cut.

"Bitch." He said. He turned to look at his wall were the knife hit. The knife was stuck in all the way and the handle of the knife had popped off. Nnoitra looked back at Ulquiorra... Who was holding super glue. Nnoitra chose not to think much of it. After all, no way he was gonna try teasing Ulquiorra again.

Then Nnoitra noticed his zampacto was missing. He looked around but didn't see it. He dared himself to look up. Sure enough Ulquiorra had superglued his precious zampacto to the ceiling. He was gonna need more help.

"Tesra! Watch the brat!" Nnoitra said as he Sonidoed out of the room in search of a blue haired Espada.

Nnoitra located Grimmjow in his room.

"Grimmjow I need help!" Nnoitra said to him.

"What do you need? Aren't you suppose to be watching Emospada?" Grimmjow questioned.

"I need your help watching Ulquiorra."

"Well that sucks."

"I will make sure you don't have to watch him tomorrow."

"How will you do that shithead?"

"I'll watch him tomorrow if you help me."

"Are you alright?"

"What?"

"Your asking me for help."

"I need it. Even I know it."

"Alright dick I'll help." Grimmjow said getting up.

As they walked in they were not prepared for the sight.

"What"

"The"

"Fucking"

"Hell"

"Happened?"

The room was trashed and both Tesra and Ulquiorra were missing.

Usiro: Sorry about the long wait. I got grounded. D=

Dask: And no way in hell was Usiro touching my stuff.

Usiro: But what if non-reviewers actually died!

Dask: I'm sure no one died from waiting 2 months for an update.

Usiro: It is a possibility.

Dask: No it's not.

Usiro: How would you know?

Dask: That is classified.

Usiro: What?

Dask: Exactly.

The next update will be much quicker


	3. Chapter 3

Usiro: I'M SORRY!

Dask: ?

Usiro: I took a long time again! X_X

Dask: That's what this is about?

Usiro: Yes!

Dask: It was half your last time.

Usiro: True...

Dask: *hits Usiro over head with a wooden bored.*

Usiro: Ow... What was that for!

Dask: *shruggs* I was bored.

Chapter 3: Spoon and Kitty

Grimmjow and Nnoitra looked around for the brat and Tesra. Nnoitra heard something in the closet. Then he heard Grimmjow burst out laughing pointing at the ceiling. Nnoitra looked up also. Grimmjow was pointing at his zampakuto on the ceiling. There was writing on it too now. It said: 'Spoon-san is trash.'

"Wow emo bat can spell at the age of two?" Grimmjow laughed. "How the hell did he get your zampacto stuck up there anyways?"

"What the fuck did he write in?" Nnoitra asked.

"I think I might learn to like the emo." Grimmjow said. "Especially if he keeps up with shit like this."

"Were the fuck are they anyway?" Grimmjow went over to the closet. When he opened it they saw Tesra tied up with ductape and ductape over his mouth while being superglued to the ceiling.

Grimmjow burst out laughing. Nnoitra saw Tesra and laughed at him too.

"Well there is your Nnoitra-wannabe." Grimmjow said. Nnoitra ripped off the ductape.

"Where the fuck is the emo?!" Nnoitra yelled at Tesra.

"I-I-I" Nnoitra ripped Tesra down.

"I had you do one fucking thing! Where the fuck is the shit-head!"

"I don't know Nnoitra-sama. He went into his release then flew away after attaching me to the ceiling." Grimmjow was already looking around the room.

After searching for a half an hour and coming up with nothing they were about to move on. "Stupid bat." Nnoitra said shoving a bat out the window.

"You just forced Ulquiorra out the window you fucking idiot!" Grimmjow said looking out the window.

"Shit"

"How the fuck are we gonna get him back?"

"Where the fuck is he? He could get eaten!"

"In that case, lets not look for him."

"You know what that's a good idea."

"Your telling Aizen!" Grimmjow said leaving the room.

"Fuck no!" Nnoitra thought of what Aizen would do if he found out Ulquiorra was gone.

Nnoitra was about to leave the room when the lights went out. "What the fu-"

Grimmjow was walking down the long hallways of Las Notches when he heard Nnoitra screaming. "What the fuck did he do?" Grimmjow decided he had nothing better to do. So he went to check it out.

He sonidoed back to Nnoitra's room. When he opened the door he saw Nnoitra scratched the hell out of. "What the fucking hell?" He saw a small demon sitting on Nnoitra's door flicking its tail with its wings folded behind him.

"Ulquiorra." Grimmjow said.

"Kitty." Ulquiorra responded.

"What did you just call me!" Grimmjow yelled.

"Kitty." Ulquiorra responded.

"I'll show you kitty." Grimmjow said drawing his zampacto.

An Arracar walked down the hallway going to check on Ulquiorra and Nnoitra on Aizen-sama's orders. He saw Nnoitra holding something black with Grimmjow close behind. They both looked like they went through hell.

"What the-" Nnoitra threw the black bundle at her.

"Watch it and don't let it near me!" Nnoitra yelled back at her still running away. "Take him to pet-san!"

"Wait! What?" The Arracar looked at the black bundle to see it was Ulquiorra with a glint in his eye. "Oh fuck." She said.

Usiro: Sorry for the long wait!

Dask: and the fact the chapter was so short.

Usiro: I'll do better next time. ^.^

Dask: Sure you will...

Usiro: Thanks for the support!

Dask: That was sarcasm.

Usiro: Oh... Just do your job!

Dask: *hits Usiro with a shovel*

Usiro: Not THAT job. The other one.

Dask: sweetoreo33- That's alright Usiro just overreacts.

Usiro: No I don't!

Dask: Whatever... DarkraiFanGirl- Yes he is. If cookies aren't for evil people then why do only villains have them.

Usiro: But sometimes-

Dask: Shut up. LD- Thanks for the idea!

Usiro: It will be helpful for next chapter! ^^

Dask: Vanya-kun- Thanks! =D; and kyoshi1818- I hope you enjoyed the chapter. ^^


	4. Chapter 4

Usiro: Look! I made it detailed!

Dask: Congragafrinkinlations.

Usiro: D= ...Dask. *whiny*

Dask: What?

Usiro: Why are you always so mean? *still whiny*

Dask: Shut up.

Chapter 4: The Arracar

'Well...Nnoitra-sama told me to bring him to pet-san. So...I guess I'll just take him to Orihime.' The Arracar thought carrying Ulquiorra to Orihime's cell. 'Until now I've not been allowed to talk to her... This is gonna be awkward.' The Arracar realized.

When she reached the door she felt a lump in her throat. What was she suppose to say or do? Just walk in? 'What do I do?' She thought franticly. 'Oh well... I'll just wing it.' She thought knocking on the door.

"Orihime?" She asked cracking open the door and poking her head in. Orihime looked surprised to see an Arracar alone at her door.

"Yes?" Orihime asked.

"Ummm... Nnoitra-sama said I should go to you for help with something..." The Arracar said. Orihime stiffened a bit at the mention of Nnoitra.

"Ok... What is it?" Orihime asked hesitantly. The Arracar stepped in. Orihime was curious to see what the Arracar needed help from her with.

"I need help...watching him." The Arracar said holding up a black figure. Orihime peered curiously at it. The Arracar put it down and Orihime got a clear view of him. He looked a lot like...

The little bat-like figure waved at her. "Hi Onna." He said. Orihime fainted.

The Arracar jumped as Orihime fell unconscious. She hadn't been expecting that reaction! Now what was she suppose to do? Aizen-sama would get angry if he found out Orihime fell unconscious. 'What am I going to do?!' The Arracar thought. Then she decided to just make it look like she was napping. Yet having died at thirteen did have some disadvantages. Like moving a full grown teenager. She could move anything as long as she had a grip on it. But the fear of hurting her wouldn't let her use that much of her strength. She couldn't get a grip either with Ulquiorra-sama constantly flying around hitting her in the face with his tail.

So she had to move a full grown teen with a demon-like bat harassing her. 'Best day ever.' She sarcastically thought.

After ten minutes of trying to move Orihime with Ulquiorra-sama smacking her with his tail or landing on her and cutting her she spotted a rope. Her first thought was 'Why does Orihime have a rope in her room?' Then she decided she didn't want the answer to that and just to be grateful she had something.

She tied Ulquiorra-sama up with the rope and put him off to the side. Then she grabbed Orihime and dragged her over to her couch. She awkwardly lifted Orihime onto the couch. Not only did she have the body of a thirteen year old but she also was kind of short for thirteen. As soon as she got Orihime onto the couch she arranged her so she didn't look like someone had just plopped her down there. (Which is exactly what happened) Then she went back over to Ulquiorra-sama who was giving her the death glare. 'Should I untie him?' She thought. 'He'll probably kill me...But I know if I leave him both Aizen-sama and Ulquiorra-sama would kill me.' She shrugged and untied him hesitantly. 'Now rather then later.'

As soon as she untied Ulquiorra-sama he clawed her in the face. 'Well I guess I kind of deserved that for tying him up.' She thought watching him as he flew over to Orihime. He peered curiously at her.

"Why's Onna sleeping?" He finally asked. "It's not bed-time." The Arracar shrugged.

"Cause humans need more sleep?" She suggested. Ulquiorra-sama nodded satisfied with the answer. He was perched on the back of Orihime's couch. He watched her content at just watching her sleep.

The Arracar on the other hand was bored. She wondered how Orihime could stand being in a cell for so long with nothing to do. She was only in there for about an hour and she was already insanely bored! Orihime shifted and her eyes flicked open. 'About time' The Arracar thought.

Orihime opened her eyes to see a small creature with green and yellow eyes, broad black tear marks, leathery wings, talons, horns, and fur looking down at her with his tail flicking back and forth. He slightly smiled at her and waved a taloned hand at her. "Good morning Onna!" He said brightly. Orihime Inoue never thought that a smile and friendly greeting could ever be scary. It isn't. Not unless its Ulquiorra Schiffer saying it. She fainted again.

Orihime woke up to icy cold water being dumped on her. She sat up quickly and glared at the Arracar standing over her holding a bucket.

"Why'd you do that?" She demanded. The Arracar standing over her was fairly short. She had shoulder length black hair and silver eyes. A teal and black zampacto was strapped to her back. Her skin was fairly pale. Her clothes were probably the most covering clothes she had seen on a female Arracar. Her pants were loose and went to her ankles. Her shirt was shirtsleeved but the sleeves were a bit long. Her shirt was not open and revealing but it covered all of her. Orihime looked for her mask fragment but found none.

"You kept falling asleep every time you saw Ulquiorra-sama. Shaking you didn't work so I dumped water on you." The Arracar said snapping Orihime out of her thoughts.

"Umm...What's your name? I'm Orihime Inoue." Orihime said a bit uncertainly.

"My name is Ulsi Asuru." The Arracar said with a small smirk.

"Where is your mask fragment?" Orihime blurted out. Ulsi blinked.

"Right here." She unzipped her coat a little and pulled down the back. She had a bone fragment on her shoulder and down her arm aways. It was just barely covered by her long-short sleeves. To Orihime it looked a bit like a wing bone on a bird. Orihime wondered if Ulsi's release was a bird. Ulsi wondered why Orihime was staring at her bone fragment as if she's never seen one before.

Ulsi fixed her coat and zipped it up. Then they both fell into an awkward silence. Luckily Ulquiorra chose that moment to knock over Orihime's table.

"Ulquiorra-sama!"

"Ulqui!" Ulsi gave her a strange look at Ulquiorra's nickname. She shrugged it off. Then she and Orihime ran over to the mini-demon.

Usiro: Sorry about kind of throwing in my OC. I just wanted to dump Ulquiorra on an Arracar so I threw in Ulsi. ^^ Now... Dask!

Dask: What?

Usiro: Review time!

Dask: Fine...

squalo king- Working on it.

sweetoreo33- Thank you for your continued support! We appreciate that you enjoy the story. DarkraiFanGirl- Yes it does. And sure why the hell not? Chocolate pudding for reviewers. Ok I'll make Usiro slow it down. *hits Usiro with a book*

Usiro: Owww...

Dask: As for who I am...shhh it's a secret. And I'm violent because violence is awesome! Speaking of violence, I'm gonna go play either Skyrim or Halo or maybe Assassin's Creed. Dask out. *leaves*

Usiro: Yay! You got rid of Mr. Violent! CHOCOLATE PUDDING! Here you go sweetoreo33, DarkraiFanGirl, and squalo king! *Hands pudding* Enjoy ^.^

Usiro: Sorry about such a long wait... The chapter has actually been done for awhile now... I just haven't posted anything...

Dask: *throws a controller down the hall and it hits Usiro in the head*

Usiro: Owwww... *picks up controller* VIDEO GAMES! *runs down hall*

I may draw a picture of Ulsi on dA if I get over my laziness. XD


End file.
